Be Better

The other day I was in the check-out line of a national discount store. I overheard a conversation between the associate running the cash register and a co-worker. He was making reference to television shows from her “old generation.” Unfortunately, I figured out I was in that same “old generation.”

I asked him if he thought there was something wrong with being a member of that “old generation.” He replied that nothing was wrong, adding he wished he had been a part of that generation. Needless to say, that sparked my brain into “journalist mode” where I continued our conversation by asking questions.

Me: “What do you think was so good about that time?”

Him: “You people had it easy.”

Me: “Easy ... what was so easy? Most families didn’t have two cars, we didn’t have cable television, CD’s, computers, video games, cell phones, iPods, DVDs, microwave ovens, digital cameras, drive-thru windows, or shopping malls”

Him: “It was easy then. It was easy because most of you came home after school and your mamma was at home fixing you a snack.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll give you that one ... most of our mom’s were at home waiting for us.”

Him: “And your whole family ate breakfast together and ate supper together, and watched TV together.”

Me: “Again I'll agree with you.”

Him: “And most of you had two parents at home because girls almost always waited until they were married to have kids, and parents stayed together even if they didn’t want to.”

Me: “You’re right, those things did happen.”

Him: “You guys also didn’t have the pressure we have. Most of you didn’t have to work and go to school. Most of you didn’t have to worry if your family had enough money to pay the rent, or buy food, or buy clothes, or go to the doctor. And you didn’t have to worry about whether your mamma or daddy was gonna leave if things got too bad.”

Me: “Well, I never thought of things that way.”

Him: “And you didn’t have to worry if you were gonna get shot and killed because somebody wanted your money, or your bike, or your iPod, or because somebody is pissed off, or you’re standing on the wrong corner, or wearing the wrong color clothes, or because some dude wants to know what it’s like to kill somebody.”

Me: “You win! We were pretty lucky to live back then. Maybe we were even pampered. It was a very special time. I wish you could say the same about the time in which you live.”

By now he had finished ringing up my merchandise and was asking for my money. Needless to say, I was somewhat stunned by the remarks from this young man. I hadn’t stopped to consider the life of a kid today as compared to the life we had in the 1960’s and 1970’s. He made some rather good points. Considering his point of view on what was wrong I decided I would change the direction of the conversation with a new line of questions.

Me: “So, you’re good at telling me the problems of your generation. Now tell me what can be done to fix and change the situation.”

Him: “It your fault. It’s the fault of your generation. You people don’t know how to be parents and grown-ups. You guys had it easy and thought it was going to be easy being parents. But you were wrong.”

Me: “Whoa ... slow down and explain yourself.”

Him: “All of you take things for granted. If you don’t like something, you don’t do it again. Your parents disciplined you, you didn’t like it, and you didn’t discipline us. You didn’t want us to get disciplined or spanked at school. You guys didn’t teach us to respect our teachers or each other. You didn’t take us to church like your parents took you to church. You people didn’t teach us how to solve problems the right way, so now some of us solve our problems with guns.”

Me: “So you’re telling me that we screwed up and we caused this?”

Him: “Maybe not you. I don’t know if your kids feel this same way. But yeah, your generation screwed it up.”

Me: “What do we do now? If you’re right in you assumption, how do we fix it? What do you want us to do?

Him: “Set good examples. Talk to us. Let us know you care. Teach us how to be good people, to make good decisions, and to solve problems. Make us believe in ourselves and show us we have a future. Teach us how to build good families. Give us the foundation your parents gave you. Be better.”

Me: “Be better? It’s that easy?”

Him: “If it was that easy it wouldn’t be so hard, or that important.”

As this young man handed me my receipt I reached out to shake his hand. He had made an impression. I thought to myself that somebody had done something right with this high school senior ... somebody had taught this guy some of the important qualities about being a decent human being. Maybe this young man was the example we needed to be following ... maybe.

... or so this news junkie thinks!