Break Out The Dictionary .. Please

Has somebody rewritten the meaning of the words “Customer Service?”

I own an iPhone. I love my iPhone. I brag about having an iPhone. And this iPhone is now causing me more grief than I could ever have imagined.

My iPhone is a 3G ... the second generation telephone. Apple being Apple, (and I have been a loyal Apple computer owner since 1992) it has come out with software upgrades for the phone. I did the first upgrade and everything was fine. I did the second upgrade and the problems began ... battery drain and app crashes. I have read on the web many stories explaining the problem which is identical to that which is occuring to my iPhone.

I called Customer Service and a nice young man offered to “replace” the phone. He said somebody would contact me within 24-hours.

The 24-hours passed and no call came from Apple. I called back and that nice young man (Rep #1) was gone for the day. I spoke with Rep #2 who was also not helpful and was a smart-mouth when I asked to speak with his supervisor.

I called a different Customer Service telephone number where I got Rep #3. This one was even worse with the smart-mouth. When I asked to speak to his supervisor, he said he didn’t have one. I said I was going to call Apple, Inc. in California and he said “the chances of you getting a different answer is zero.”

I called California and was told by the operator I was being transferred to “Corporate Customer Service which is above any of the 800-numbers we have.”

That’s when I got Rep #4 who claimed he wanted to help me. He said  “I feel your frustration,” “I understand your anger,” and “let’s say you and I trust each other.” BULL! I finally demanded speaking with his supervisor. Then he informed me he was NOT in Corporate Customer Service. He claimed he was actually BELOW Rep #2, and on the SAME LEVEL as Rep #3.

That’s when I asked for his supervisor. He claimed to transfer me to a “manager.” That became Rep #5 who recited the same lines of all the other guys. I told him I would get to the top of the Apple tree and get this issues resolved.

That’s when I hung up and sent an e-mail to Tim Cook ... the Chief Operating Officer at Apple. As soon as I hit the “send” button, Rep #4 called back saying “let me see if I can get you to see our side.” My answer is that his side doesn’t matter ... I AM THE CUSTOMER WHO HAS PAID FOR THE PHONE.

Here’s the rub ... the telephone is defective with the new software update. Rep #4 said I “should be content to not upgrade and have a working telephone.” Rep #5 says he “personally authorized” my getting a new iPhone instead of a refurbished model to replace my 5-month old phone. LIE!!! It was Rep #1 who got permission for a new replacement instead of a refurbished model.

The "bag of bad apples," Reps #1- #5, want me to charge $500 to a credit card to send me a new iPhone and the charge will be reversed within 30-days. Well, that’s 30-days of paying interest on a charge on a telephone I have already paid money to purchase PLUS reserving funds against the credit limit. In other words, UNACCEPTABLE.

The other option is for me to drive to either New Orleans or Jackson to exchange the defective iPhone at an Apple Store ... that’s nearly four hours of driving with gasoline at $2.29 per gallon. In other words, UNACCEPTABLE.

The next option is for me to send my iPhone to Apple and when they receive the phone, they will send me a new iPhone. Well, that leaves me without a telephone for roughly five days, plus I have no guarantee the phone will get to Apple for replacement. I can only get a receipt for delivery, not what takes place at Apple headquarters. In other words, UNACCEPTABLE.

I offered two solutions: 1) send a telephone to the AT&T store from which I purchased the original iPhone and AT&T will secure the defective phone, or 2) send a new iPhone to me and have the delivery company immediately take the defective product while scanning the packaged item into its computer system.

For some reason, Reps #3, #4, and #5 each laughed at me. Now I go back to my original question: “Has somebody rewritten the meaning of the words “Customer Service?”

Actually, I don’t think the meanings of those words have changed ... only that the concept of “Customer Service” has never been taught to the people who deal with the customers who purchase their products.

... or so this news junkie thinks!